like the hobbits resting on mountain ledges on their journey wherever; we must rest sometimes in our plight; find a plateau, a hiatus where we can lull and graze and gain the strength necessary to continue
i am hiating right now; cheek to the ground, on a plateau; the top of the swing; out of time. i’d like to be out of time, if just for a moment, to gather that momentum to swing back down and up and through this merry-go-round of life
i’ve always wished for fairytale challenge to give sparkle to mundane bill paying and people pleasing and food ingesting and money hunting and relationship navigating and the hard life of reality biting and so gravitate towards things and people who hover in the bits around the edges; wishing for a hologram to appear into which I could step and live out my life in technicolour with candyfloss clouds and unicorns instead of cars and buildings and telephones and forms
it’s when the grey dirty concrete life comes knocking too heavily that I run scared and gulp down to my toes with terror at the restrictions and limitations that chewing gum and oil stained concrete affords. I can feel persecuted and even as if awaiting execution when dealing with government or energy companies or bricks and mortar or even people and complex relationships. did I say something wrong?…I was just being me.
it’s all in your head, a friend told me: what you can or can’t do; what’s open; who you spend time with, how you chose to see the path ahead of you; how you eke out your life… only you put up walls and create restrictions.
could then the road before you open like the yellow brick one; into the hologram of your own making? two things work says trump- the wheel and walls. I heard this in the dissipated fragments of speckled sleep and wakefulness that was last night, and these words were powerful. I don’t read the news it depresses me (in fact, I just phoned my energy company- hard grey concrete- to find out why the bills have increased so much and he said “haven’t you been watching the news – we’ve ceased trading” right, thanks, no I don’t watch the news, what about my bills…the computer says no)
but I heard this snippet in the night as in the end the drone of the radio was easier than breath focus and hearing trump’s peculiar and arbitrary excuse and reason for using crisis money to aid division and divisiveness and make a gigantic rambling wall to keep things and people out; I just loved hearing mention of two ancient things of incredible power: wheels and walls. they are like ships and horses and motor cars and engines and bicycles and robins and paper aeroplanes and paperweights.
contrary to trumps divisive intentions I found these two words resonating. yes walls are ancient and opaque and hard and immovable and permanent, or at least long lasting, and final and shutting and closing and lonely and excluding and they do work and in personal development they work in our own mind to stop us from seeing the path that is right in front of us. and we all have- or at least I do- a little trump in our head building walls instead of wheels and making divisions where there could be revolutions.
Wheels are moving and smooth and innovative and turning and continuing and infinite and constant and aiding and oiling and helpful.
we create our own stories and also shut our own stories down. it’s all part of the story; seeing and unseeing, but when you see the path open and the hologram shimmering, then perhaps you can’t unsee it?
I hope not.
what’s it to be in your mind and existence, a wall or a wheel?